Also I got married, but don't be alarmed. This will never be a blog about a wedding. Suffice it to say that there is no limit to the shit that you can spend your money on when you are planning a wedding, and that NO ONE has a sense of humor when it comes to matching the napkins to the floor or finding a plant that people aren't allergic to to staple to a tux jacket that you may or may not recoup a deposit from. Moreover, there is so much useless bullshit that is suddenly a dramatic imperative, like somehow you won't be really married without it.
But I digress. My point is, that somehow, by hook or by crook, I had to get some money. And as an ethicist, I am morally prohibited from hooking, because that is against the law in the state of Washington.
Thankfully, there seem to be an innumerable cadre of jackasses desperate to give me a paltry sum in exchange for a modicum of effort on my part. While I formulate for your edification and entertainment pending posts about genetically modified foods, patenting DNA, water fluoridation and the consumption of neurotoxins, please occupy yourself with the following exchange. Also if you have any money you want to send me start stuffing it into an envelope because SHIT IS REAL IN 2013.
Sent: 4/9/2013 11:41 AM
Sent: 4/9/2013 12:06 PM
Subject: RE: Invitation to Contribute to Pain Medicine Board Prep Course
1) Just what the hell are YOU looking at?
2) Do you want a knuckle sandwich?
3) Does this hurt?
4) What's your problem, pal?
5) How about THAT? DOES THAT HURT, TOUGH GUY?
Thank you for your interest in our progressive method of pain management. The large body of evidence supporting experiential learning suggests that in order to effectively manage pain, the pain must first exist. That should learn them real good. Please feel free to contact me for further input.
My very best,
(the "Doctor" is silent.)